


hypothetical

by PaintedVanilla



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Babies, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Phone Calls & Telephones, Single Parents, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedVanilla/pseuds/PaintedVanilla
Summary: i wish my dad loved me this much





	hypothetical

“Finally asleep?”

John had only just lowered Frances into her crib when his dad appears in the doorway, startling him. Frantically, he raises a single finger to his lips, holding it there and looking at his dad with wide eyes and hoping he understands to stay quiet. It’s hell getting Frances to sleep, and if she wakes back up John might cry.

Henry raises his hand to signal that he understands, and he doesn’t say anything else until John comes over to him and they both step out into the hallway. “I take it that means asleep?”

“Barley.” John says, “A pin drops and she wakes back up.”

Henry raises his eyebrows, making an amused noise, “Reminds me of you.”

“Really?” John asks, “I wasn’t  _ that  _ bad, was I?”

Henry nods his head for a moment, still looking amused, then rests a hand on John’s shoulder, “Get some rest, son.” he says, “If Ellie and I didn’t sleep when you slept, we didn’t sleep at all.”

Back in his room, now with the door shut, John starts to turn the light off, but he ends up walking back over to Frances’ crib. She’s still so little, and she looks so lovely, especially when she’s asleep. He wants to pick her up, but he knows doing so will only wake her up, and he’s too tired for that. If he has to lull her back to sleep again he’s going to end up putting himself to sleep.

He turns to actually turn the light off, but his phone buzzes on the bed and he immediately feels guilty. When he turns his phone over, though, it’s just a text from Laf, which makes John feel less like shit since Laf knows the real reason why John is in Carolina.

The text reads,  _ hey, how are you doing? _

John texts him back a thumbs up and throws his phone onto the bed, but after a moment he picks it back up to look at it. He stares at the dark screen for a moment, then turns it on and goes to his contacts and spends several moments staring at the dumb photo he has set for Alex’s picture before he calls him.

On the fourth ring, John is surprised to hear Eliza’s voice, “Hello?”

John starts, “Eliza?”

“Yes?” Eliza asks.

John hesitates, then he says, “I was - um - ”

“Me and Alexander switched phones.” Eliza explains, guessing at why he’s confused, “He finally shattered his old one beyond repair and I talked him into getting a seven but he ended up hating the seven almost as much as I ended up loving it so I traded him my six and we decided switching numbers was too much of a bother since we’re friends with all the same people anyways. Didn’t you see my post on Facebook?”

“I don’t really go on Facebook.” John says quietly.

“Oh, no worries.” Eliza says, “How’s Carolina? You’ve been down there for ages, we haven’t seen you in months. Are you coming back up to New York soon?”

John swallows, his eyes falling on Frances, “Maybe.”

Eliza hums, “Do you want me to turn you over to Alexander? I’m assuming he’s who you were calling for in the first place.”

John hesitates, then says, “Actually? Um, do you have a minute?” he pauses, “I mean I’m sure you’re probably busy with the baby, but - ”

“Pip is asleep.” Eliza interrupts him, “I’m perfectly free right now. What’s up?”

John swallows, unsure of how to word this, “Um, I have a… hypothetical.”

“A hypothetical?” Eliza repeats.

“Yeah.” John says, “Do you have time to discuss a hypothetical?”

“Sure.” Eliza says, “What’s the hypothetical?”

“Um, okay.” John says, “So let’s say, you… have a guy friend.”

“I have several.” Eliza says lightly.

“A guy friend who’s trans.” John adds, “And also stupid.”

Eliza giggles a little bit, “I have one of those.”

John bites his lip, “So this, uh, stupid trans guy, he uh… he’s not very… smart. He’s, um, been single for a long time - he’s gay - and he’s been single for a  _ long _ time and um… when he… hooks up… with guys… he’s not very… safe.”

John can sense Eliza’s hesitation through the phone, “Okay..?”

“And so - um - as a testament to his idiocy, after he was told by his doctor that while he was on testosterone the chances of him getting pregnant were very,  _ very,  _ slim, he decided having safe sex was for losers? I guess? I don’t really know what the fuck he was thinking - ”

“John.” Eliza says.

“So, anyways, now he’s kind of hiding in South Carolina at his dad’s house because he’s scared of going back up to New York to see his friends because then he would just randomly have a daughter.” John says quickly; he winces when Eliza gasps, “So, um, hypothetically, what would you… say? To him?”

Eliza is quiet for a moment, then she says, “John, why didn’t you - ”

John makes a noise of protests, “It’s a hypothetical.” He says, even though he knows Eliza isn’t that stupid.

Eliza sighs, “Right, of course,” she says, “Well,  _ hypothetically,  _ I would ask him why he decided to go hide down in South Carolina in the first place?”

“There are several hypothetical answers to that.” John says, which makes Eliza laugh a little bit, “First of all, um, I -  _ he,  _ didn’t really want anyone to see him. Second of all, um,” he pauses, looking over at Frances, then he says, “I really wanna kick my own ass for this.”

“What?” Eliza asks.

“I thought that maybe… if I just didn’t tell anyone about it, I could just… have her, and… give her up. And then I could just come back up to New York like it never even happened.” John says tightly.

“But?” Eliza prompts.

John takes a deep breath, looking back at Frances again, “I’ve never fallen in love with anything faster than I fell in love with her.” He says quietly, his voice cracking, “She’s perfect. She’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe I ever thought I wouldn’t want her, she’s lovely.”

John can hear Eliza’s smile in her tone, “What’s her name?”

“Francine.” John tells her.

“That’s a beautiful name.” Eliza says, “How old is she?”

“Four months.” John says, and he’s tearing up now, “She’s only four months, and I’d do anything for her. She’s got me wrapped around her little finger.” He sniffs, “Kinda shitty timing, actually, for not wanting to be seen, because I saw my sister and her girlfriend so much over Thanksgiving and Christmas that - ”

“When’s her birthday?” Eliza asks suddenly.

“Oh.” John says, “Francine? January 22.”

Eliza gasps loudly, which startles John, “Are you okay?”

“That’s Philip’s birthday!” Eliza exclaims, “Oh, my God! John! When you bring her back up here they have to meet, oh, my God! Isn’t that just the craziest thing?”

John glances at his daughter, “Yeah, crazy.”

“Oh, I hope they’ll be friends.” Eliza says happily, “I mean, you know, hypothetically.”

John snorts, “Yeah, hypothetically.”

“So, when do you think you’re coming back up to New York?” Eliza asks after a moment, “Hypothetically.”

John grins, “Soon.” He assures her, “Sooner, now, hopefully. Now that someone else knows about Francine’s hypothetical existence.”

“That really is the prettiest name.” Eliza comments, “I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

John swallows, “Thank you, Eliza.”

“Of course.” Eliza says sweetly, “But for now, you honestly sound like you could use as much sleep as possible.”

“I honestly feel like I could sleep for a thousand years.” John groans.

Eliza laughs, “Can’t say I feel much different.” she says, “Goodnight, John. I’m glad you called.”

“Me, too.” John says quietly, “Night, Eliza.”

He hangs up, and for a moment John thinks he should switch her and Alex’s contact in his phone, but looking at the screen makes his eyes burn. He throws it on his bedside table and barely manages to stand up to finally turn the light off before he collapses onto his bed, asleep in an instant and feeling peaceful.

**Author's Note:**

> i wish my dad loved me this much


End file.
